Aren’t chicks supposed to be into shoes? All the different kinds of high heels, boots, even sneakers and flip flops qualify as acceptable footwear for women but this new dance flats craze is taking over and it’s not a good thing for men, women or America. Dance flats aren’t shoes they are an abomination.

First off, I don’t care how old you are or what generation you are from, there is nothing more attractive than a woman in high heels. Now most women would likely argue the comfort factor and that’s fine but then why not just start wearing the orthopedic shoes you see everyone's grandmother wearing? High heels maybe aren’t for everyone and can be worn for special occasions, just don’t forget ladies, that no matter what you think or say, you look your best when you are in those heels. But if you are going to argue comfort as a reason to not wear heels with any regularity then leave those dance flats on the shelf because having a sixteenth of an inch of leather between you and the ground is certainly not more comfortable or good for your feet, socks have more material to them. If you want to wear sneakers or flip flops or crazy boots be my guest, those can be comfortable but you aren’t getting past this asshole by wearing dance flats and saying high heels are uncomfortable because that’s a load of horseshit. If you want to wear something as unattractive and simple as those stupid dance flats save yourself a couple of bucks and just wrap your feet in the missing children section of the newspaper, at least then you’d be doing a public service. In fact that would be more attractive and exactly as comfortable.

mlz

Tuesday, January 20, 2015