All the fellas out there know what I am talking about. In 2014 you get these nonsense texts that you can’t win with. You can’t just respond without trying to be creative. Please if there are any ladies reading this, fill us dudes in on how to respond to a “love you, miss you, can’t wait to see you” text.

Does it make me a bad person that I feel as though it’s almost a job to respond to some of these texts? If you respond to “love you, miss you, can’t wait to see you” with anything that ends in “too” you sir have failed in her eyes. But ultimately what the fuck are we supposed to say? Samsies? Ditto? You and me both? That is what we want to reply, but god knows you will just get upset or give us some shitty reply of “that’s it?” Ya bitch that is it, because if we are on that page of our relationship I don’t need to read it in a text to understand it and neither should you. I have no problem telling you I love you but it’s bad enough you guys turned Valentine’s Day into your own personal day, now every fucking sappy text needs to be thought out thoroughly. However, if us dudes take to long to think of a sappy response to your simple text, then we must be mad or not care about you as much as you care about us. If response/response time to your sappy text is that much of an issue to make you question my dedication then we have much bigger problems on our hands. I swear some dudes cheat because of these silly text message conversations. Meanwhile if we say “love you babe” first you guys all respond with “love you too :)” and somehow that fucking smiley face makes it all okay. When the reality is that we just don’t give a shit about anything other than you in fact love us back, so we don’t think twice about it. Personally I would like to outlaw all smiley faces. To speak in 2014 terms, smiley faces make me feel like an outsider, and that is illegal nowadays. Smiley faces are just bullies and I would love to rip the fucking lips off of all of them.

mlz