Theories on why Rob Schneider Keeps Getting Work

Aside from Deuce Bigelow one and his one line in The Waterboy (although I did enjoy him as the bellhop in Home Alone) Rob Schneider has done absolutely nothing noteworthy, and there’s no way he should be getting work in Hollywood, but I have a few theories on why he still does.

Theory Number One:

He has a Good Manager

A good manager can get anyone work, even if they really suck. The problem with this theory is that Rob’s manager is his brother John Schneider. John is also the manger of Fred Durst and Tom Green, names that were decently big in the 90’s, but have since tapered off. So unfortunately, this theory doesn’t work.

Theory Number Two:

Adam Sandler Nailed Schneider’s Wife

This is a possibility. Look at that picture. There is no way that she belongs with him. She’s a TV producer in Mexico, or was, it just doesn’t add up. Sandler or someone in that clique nailed her, and they just keep giving him jobs out of pity.

Theory Number Three:

Schneider doesn’t get paid

Maybe the man is working on the cheap as a side character because he is one of their good buddies and they know Schneider won’t say no.

Theory Number Four:

Schneider is Handicapped

Maybe he’s “special” but has never been diagnosed. Sandler could feel bad for him and be giving him these roles because they know he can’t do any other jobs.

Theory Number Five:

Schneider Knows Something Big

Rob was part of the star studded SNL crew that included Sandler, David Spade, Chris Rock, and the late Chris Farley. Farley was found dead by his brother John in 1997. An autopsy revealed that it was due to cocaine and morphine overdose. Pretty strange for someone with that many friends no one was aware of his drug problem. Maybe they all knew Farley was getting close to suicide and they didn’t want to acknowledge it. Maybe there was a pact made to never speak about it and that they will all stick together. Then again maybe they all have drug problems, and are sticking close together so that no one leaks anything.

More than anything I think that it’s theory number two. Schneider’s wife is way too hot for him, and Sandler is too “big” of a star not to nail her. Although I had strong feelings toward theory number five, social media and paparazzi today would never allow for such secrecy. Regardless, Schneider will continue to get work. Hopefully he stops getting his own movies, unless we get more Carlos from TheBenchwarmers scenes…..