Remember back in the day being off the grid. Completely off the grid if you weren’t at home. If your car broke down you had to walk to the nearest gas station or hope there was a friendly household nearby. Sure we can all agree having a smartphone is better than not having one. But after getting jumped and having my phone stolen last weekend I have realized it is nice to have a break for a few days.

It started in downtown Charlotte. First off there’s just endless free shit including beer, wine, hats, shirts, backpacks, koozies, food, many many things. Anyway long story short it’s one hell of a time and anyone that likes fun should put going to the Coke 600 and the festival preceding it on their bucket list.

We got hammered downtown before heading to the main stage to watch Tony Stewart and Danica’s Q & A. Before they went on stage they decided to give away tickets and pit passes to the person who could dance the best on stage. They happened to choose AP3 but it didn’t take long before we realized the fix was in. There were three contestants. AP3 put on the best show. But they eliminated him and one of the other two before the eventual winner had even moved. Nevertheless they gave him two free tickets and pit passes, but in my eyes that doesn’t replace winning. He got screwed.

From there we headed to one of Dale Jr’s bars and found out how much fun riding a mechanical bull while doing shots of Bacardi 151 with mint, can be. I can’t recall leaving or anything that went on. I just know when I came to my phone was smashed and I was in the middle of nowhere. I sat down on a curb waiting for a ride as a noticed a group of dudes walking down the sidewalk behind me. I kept to myself, eyes forward, didn’t open my big mouth, when I felt two hands push me square in the back. I got knocked to the ground scraping my knee. I then covered my head and for the most part blocked a punch to the back left of my head. I rolled with it to my right using all of my force to punch this person in the face. One of the other’s grabbed my phone and they all ran off... Jokes on them the screen was smashed and I had $300 cash in my other pocket.

From there I had to walk to a nearby bar thanks to the help of some other guy that happened to be walking the street at 2am. Yes, of course he charged me $40 to walk with him but what else was I supposed to do? Finally I wound up at some random bar got the help of the nice bartenders and even had some nice guy buy me a beer before AP3 arrived to pick me up. Thanks again AP3 you know I appreciate that.

That is just one instance of not having a phone. The last few days were at times painful. I have found the worst part about it was trying to listen to podcasts. I was able to listen to some of The Adam Carolla Show but his episode player doesn’t like to fast forward so you have to listen to entire episodes at once. Also, without getting too crude, taking a shit without a phone is like jerking off without porn. You almost feel lost. Like, what the hell am I doing? What did I do before the iPhone? Not to mention the frequency/urgency of the bathroom visits after stopping at Golden Corral before heading home.

Perhaps I am just a loner. But not having a phone felt like a nice break. Not even so much from people but from the internet. This will sound crazy to everyone reading I am sure. It even sounds a bit crazy to me now that I have a new phone. But taking even a small break from the internet is a bit freeing. We all devote so much of our lives staring at our phones. Once in awhile paying attention to real life is actually worthwhile. Especially when you feel you may have fucked up and need to think about why.

All in all I may have lost a few pictures/videos/great opportunites for pictues/videos but it was a great trip to Charlotte and I would love to do it again. And I hope those cocksuckers that jumped me realize how fuckin stupid they are. And I hope other people feel the same way I do about taking a nice break from our cell phones. We can all get a bit lost in them sometimes.

mlz

Sunday, June 2, 2013