This week there are a
few good new releases. There aren't any new albums by anyone I've
heard of, but there's a few fun movies, a new Devil May Cry game,
Taken 2 releases to DVD, also I did my homework this week so
there's a few good movie reviews worth taking a look at. As always
this may contain spoilers but not in anything too new.
New This Week
Movies
Counterpunch releases
1/15
Danny Trejo stars as a boxing trainer trying to help his fighter
accomplish his goal of winning the Golden Gloves. Based on a true
story of a kid with some rough upbringing trying to overcome it.
It's not getting good early reviews, maybe because it's Danny Trejo
starting in a movie we have all seen a million times
already.
Mama
You aren't really going to ever watch this right? I'm not entirely
sure which is worse now a days the music of 2013 or the horror
films of 2013. When was the last time a legit horror flick came
out? Paranormal 1? These movies are just ridiculous just watch the
trailer for a few seconds and try not to laugh. The horror film
industry needs a total overhaul, these movies are jokes. And just
when I'm about to say, well there is a Del Toro involved, the
commercial for this shit movie comes on my TV again and I remember
no, this movie is going to suck ass, I don't care who is
involved.
The Last
Stand
Arnold Swarzenegger, Forest Whitaker, and Johnny Knoxville star in
what should be one of the most fun new movies of early 2013. It's
going to be bad but fun bad with some great action and some funny
jokes. Just be sure to ignore the ridiculous plot.
Broken City
Mark Wahlberg stars as a cop that gets double crossed by the mayor,
Russel Crowe. Again it should be a fun movie nothing great.
Video Games
DMC Devil May Cry
I haven't played one of these games since probably the 2nd one but
from what I remember its pretty fun. I mean I obviously stopped
playing them for a reason, how many weird ghouls can a grown man
chase after?
Since I've Written
Last
Savages
Not a bad movie but once you factor in the fact that its two and a
half hours it sort of becomes a blur. I love myself a good long
movie if it sucks you in. If it is truly worthwhile. But to be
honest I don't remember too much about this flick. It's just
mediocre really. Not to mention the ending is about as aggravating
as it gets. When they needed to cut about 30 minutes of time and
then throw a false ending at us it's really annoying. Movie gets a
5 out of 10 aka not much need to waste 150 minutes of your
life.
Seeking a Friend For
the End of the World
On paper this should be a great movie. Steve Carrell is always
enjoyable , Kiera Knightley is a good actress and then toss in Rob
Cordry, Connie Britton, Rob Huebel, Amy Schumer, Patton Oswalt, TJ
Miller and others and it should have been a great flick. Instead I
couldn't stop focusing in on Kiera's pale fat calves. She prances
around in a dress all movie showing off her strikingly
annoying/ugly legs. Overall it was just a relatively dull movie. It
gets a 6 and that's probably just me being generous towards Steve
Carrell.
The Dark Knight
Rises
Everyone I talked to about this movie told me how it was such a
"good" movie and how it was a better movie than the last Batman. I
might get some hate mail for this when I'm done but please I'd
welcome any rebuttal for why there were perfectly set up bike jumps
allowing for an easy escape from the Stock Market hold up. Which by
the way the jumps were basically built around the cop cars it would
have been impossible to even park the cars where they were. And why
would you set up a road block that could just be driven over?
Really a ridiculous part of the movie.
Or how it had the exact same ending as 'Inception'. Don't get me
wrong it was fun as hell but far from a great film. Bain was an
awesome bad guy and has one of the most fun voices to
impersonate.
Then there was Anne Hathaway's character. She went from a regular
jewel thief that knows how to fight to being able to operate any of
Batmans equipment as good as he can without any training or
knowledge. It made no sense. It's like they just said eh well
people know she's Catwoman so why bother building any of her
story.
Then we get to the kid being in prison. I know it was sort of a
desolate maximum security prison but if a kid is born in prison,
suddenly they are forced to stay in prison? Something tells me that
kid would be let out upon birth.
As usual Christopher Nolan made this a fun ride but it gets a 8 on
the fun scale. Anyone upset about it not getting an Oscar nod is
just flying their nerd flag a little too high.
Mission Impossible
Ghost Protocol
This is on Netflix Instant now so I watched it again. It's not very
good and there's one scene that really shows how bad it is. A
rocket is going to be launched and Tom Cruise has to stop it,
naturally. While they are racing across the city to try and put a
stop to it Tom and his lady friend are informed that they have two
minutes until launch, to which the chick responds "We are two and
half minutes out.". I couldn't have been the only one who laughed
out loud at that point right? Have you ever met a chick with a
sense of direction? I'm not taking a shot at the ladies you guys
are better than men at a lot of things but directions is not one of
them. The fact that she knew they were exactly 2.5 minutes out took
me completely out of the movie even if just for a moment. As I'm
sure you can guess that wasn't the only moment like it in the
movie. I'll give it a 4 and will say it has some fun 'Mission
Impossible' moments in it.
Project
X
As with Ghost Protocol this is on Instant Netflix so I watched it
again the other night. I just wanted to bring up that after the big
party and all the shit goes down. As punishment his father makes
him drive the minivan that had been torched and blown up by a flame
thrower. Something tells me A. It wouldn't run, and B. no police
officer would ever allow that to be on the road.
mlz
Tuesday, January 15,
2013
